


It Takes a Village

by orphan_account



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Humor, PTA Sans
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-03
Updated: 2015-12-24
Packaged: 2018-05-04 17:40:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5342729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One small favor leads to Sans dedicating his life to fighting the Helens of the world.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Small Favor

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the PTA Sans phenomena that broke on on tumblr.

In Sans humble opinion, it was too damn early to be awake. True, the sun was up. And perhaps he had slept straight through what would normally be considered lunch. Luckily Sans had long since decided that he would live his life by his own rules.

But Papyrus had asked him to come watch auditions for the Christmas play that he and Mettaton were having at Frisk’s school. As a general rule, Sans never said no to Papyrus.

The coffee machine was making an odd grinding sound now. Sans watched with interest from the other side of the kitchen. Papyrus didn’t drink coffee but was supportive of Sans and would try to improve the machine in odd ways.

To his infinite disappointment, coffee began to fill the pot normally.

A series of barks cut through the silence of the house. Sans smiled tiredly at the sound and dug his phone out of one of the pockets on his shorts. The caller id told him that it was Tori. He accepted the call.

“hey tori,” he greeted. “are phones allowed in class?”

“Actually I’m in my planning period,” she answered. She didn’t seem to be in the mood for jokes right now. “Are you busy today, Sans?”

“nah,” he said. The coffee was done so he shuffled over to pour himself a cup. He had actually gone through the trouble of requesting the day off so that he could hang out with Papyrus and make some robot jokes until Mettaton gave him the boot.

“Then, if I may be so bold, may I ask you for a small favor?” she asked, sounding hesitant.

“’course tori,” he said, squeezing a healthy dose of ketchup into his mug. “anything for an old friend.”

“Then would you mind sitting in on the Parent Teacher Association meeting? I usually attend but I have a meeting with the parents of a student after school.”

“uh, how long is the meeting?” sans questioned, taking a drink of his coffee. He didn’t want to disappoint Papyrus.

“Oh it should only be a half of an hour,” Toriel hurried to assure him. “It’s just a vote on which play we’re going to be doing for Frisk’s grade. We need to decide before auditions.”

“that’s not a problem, then. pap asked me to watch the auditions anyway,” Sans explained.

“Delightful!” she exclaimed. “Well, I don’t want to bother you any further.”

“wait, tori,” sans said. “did you hear about the man that entered a pun contest?”

Toriel didn’t respond but Sans could practically hear her trying not to laugh.

“yeah, he sent in ten different puns. guess he figured one of the puns had to win. unfortunately, no pun in ten did.”

Toriel began to howl with laughter. Sans smiled to himself and drank his coffee, pleased with the reaction. It took a few minutes for Toriel to calm down enough to respond.

“There is also a story I would like to share with you,” Toriel said. “You see, there was a snail that wanted to become a racecar driver. When he entered the race, he was told that he couldn’t have a number on his car because he was just a snail. So he put a large S on his car instead.”

Sans smiled into his cup and made an encouraging sort of noise.

“When the snail began his first race, he was unexpectedly in the lead. All of the spectators yelled, ‘Look at that S-car go!’” Toriel finished, laughing.

Sans laughed too.

“good one, Tori,” he said. “i'll see you later.”

They said their goodbyes and Sans finished his coffee. He was contemplating pouring himself another cup when his phone let out a tiny bark. He checked his messages and saw a text from Frisk confirming that Sans would be attending the PTA meeting in Toriel’s place.

 **pretty sure you’re not allowed to text during class, kiddo** he tapped back. He poured another cup and added the ketchup while he waited.

**I’m at lunch.**

**Frisk**

**I’m in science class.  
**

**What are you studying**

**Genetics. I think I’m adopted**

**You didn’t hear it from me. I’ll see you after school**

**Can I go with you?**

**?**

**To the meeting. Mom always seems upset afterwards.**

**Yeah, you can come**

Sans finished his coffee and rinsed the mug. True to lazy form, he left it in the sink when he left the kitchen. Toriel hadn’t mentioned anything about fighting but maybe she figured Sans wouldn’t care enough to get worked up.

She was probably right.

(She was not right.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sans' ringtone is the bark of the Annoying Dog.


	2. Meeting Linda

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frisk is carrying too much.

Sans arrived at the precise moment that the school bell signaled the end of classes. Normally he would never be so punctual but he had promised Toriel that he would attend the PTA meeting in her stead and he took promises seriously. And he had to find Frisk along the way.

He found the kid standing outside of Toriel’s classroom with MK, Papyrus’ most loyal follower. He waved in greeting and Frisk waved back. MK seemed to be finishing a story about their sister. If Sans remembered correctly, she was one of Toriel's students.

“Heya, Sans!” MK greeted cheerfully when they noticed his approach. “Is your brother around?”

“he’s doing auditions for the christmas play,” Sans said, feeling more than a little proud of his brother. He was the coolest. “you gonna audition?”

“Yeah!” MK cheered. They gave the skeleton and the human their goodbyes and hurried off. Sans and Frisk watched them as they went. MK managed to not over balance this time and safely rounded the corner.

“you ready?” he asked when the other child was out of sight. Frisk smiled a little and nodded. He held his hand out towards them. He might not have large furry paws like their mom and dad, but he knew Frisk would appreciate the gesture anyway.

He poked his head into the classroom before they left. “’heya tori. where do you need me?”

Toriel looked up from her work, glasses slightly askew. She smiled genuinely at him. “Thank you again for this, Sans. The meeting is in room 138. It’s by the cafeteria. You should know where that is.”

Sans did. But the subtle joke also reminded him of the time Sans brought Frisk lunch. Toriel asked him to make a big deal of it, mostly as a joke and also as a gentle way of making sure they wouldn’t forget again.

(Sans ended up taking Frisk to Grillby’s for lunch while everyone was distracted.) (The school cafeteria didn't have enough ketchup in Sans' humble opinion.)

“yeah, I do. thanks tori,” he closed the door and began walk in the direction of the cafeteria, Frisk following along quietly. “so how was school, kid?”

“Good,” they answered, allowing themselves to be guided. “Math homework.”

“are you still on statistics?” he asked, remembering Frisk’s frustration over their last assignment.

“Geometry,” they said. “Help?”

“sure. come by anytime,” he told them. Papyrus gave the kid a key to their house ages ago. Frisk hummed happily and squeezed his hand. “we’re going to 138. you know where that is?”

Frisk hummed in response. Sans nodded.

The door in question was wide open when Sans and Frisk arrived and there was a woman lingering outside of the room. She stared at Sans as he approached.

“Hello,” she greeted politely.

“hiya. is this the room for the PTA meeting?” he asked, letting Frisk swing their joined hands while they waited.

“Yes it is. Are you, um, a parent?”

“just standing in for frisk’s mom today,” he said. He lifted their joined hands a bit to emphasize his hanger on.

“Oh, Toriel won’t make it?” the woman asked, sounding oddly disappointed. Sans couldn't blame her. He would be disappointed too if he expected a sweet goat mom and got a sad skeleton instead. “Well, I’m sure you’ll be an excellent stand in mister…?”

“I’m sans. sans the skeleton,” he held out his free hand, disappointed that he hadn’t managed to sneak in the whoopee cushion gag. Frisk patted his arm in consolation.

“It’s nice to meet you Mr. Sans. I’m Susan,” she said, taking the offered hand. “The meeting will be starting in a few minutes. I’m sure the other parents will love to meet you!”

“great,” Sans said, slowly inching his way into the room. Susan’s attention was grabbed by an approaching blonde woman. Sans took the opportunity to move into the room, nearly dragging Frisk in the process. He was only there to listen and report back to Toriel, he reminded himself.

In the room all the tables were arranged in a sort of square. Sans supposed that made sense. There was also an open box of donuts on the table closest to the door. He considered helping himself to one but there were two other women and a man loitering by it. He didn’t want to get dragged into anything accidentally.

Frisk had no such worries. They went over and stared at the box for a moment but none of the surrounding parents noticed them. They looked slightly disappointed and returned to Sans' side. He figured that their inventory was full. Or maybe they just didn't like glazed donuts.

Sans chose a seat near the back and Frisk sat beside him. He pulled out his phone while they waited so he could check Papyrus’ blog. His brother had been receiving an outpouring of punny trolls lately and Sans was eager for an update on the hunt for the culprit. Frisk took out their math homework (and bizarrely enough, a hot dog) and began to work on it.

While he was scrolling through Pap’s most recent posts, Sans got the feeling of being watched. He ignored it. A skeleton monster wasn’t really a common sight (he was pretty sure that he and Papyrus were the only ones, actually).

Then he sensed someone take a seat near him and Frisk. He ignored that too. Papyrus posted a long rant on the integrity of the modern puzzle making system that Sans needed to read. If the title was any indication, it would change how he looked at maze puzzles forever.

_Then_ the person coughed lightly, as if requesting his attention. Sans reminded himself that he did not want to engage. Frisk pulled out a cough drop and offered it to the person. Hadn’t Toriel taught her child about carrying too much? No wonder Frisk didn't have room for a donut. Maybe Sans should remind them that they could always store things on their head until a space in their inventory opened up.

“Oh, no thank you darling,” a woman’s voice spoke. “You’re very sweet.”

Sans mentally sighed and put away his phone. As lazy as he was, he wasn't the type to make children do things for him. He turned to look at the newcomer and saw it was the blonde woman from before.

“I don’t think we’ve met,” she said. “I’m Linda.”

“I’m sans,” Sans introduced himself dutifully. “sans the skeleton.”

“Right,” she agreed. “And is she your child?”

“t _hey_ ’re toriel’s kid,” he said, stressing the pronoun. Frisk just shrugged and went back to their math homework. Sans saw shapes on the page and in the margins there were sketches of the canine unit of the royal guard (and bizarrely enough, a hot cat).

“Oh, will she be joining us today?” Linda asked though Sans would have thought Susan would have mentioned it.

“nah. she has a conference with some parents,” Sans explained.

“It’s a shame she has to miss this,” she said. “But I understand that her career comes first. She teaches at the kindergarten, doesn’t she?”

“yeah,” Sans said flatly. The kindergarten was in the same building but technically counted as its own institution. Sans wondered if the kindergarten had its own PTA.

Out of the corner of his eye socket, he saw Frisk began to sketch a snow decahedron. Huh. Weird kid.

“Well, I just wanted to let you know that we usually don’t let students sit in on the meetings,” Linda continued. “Children can get disruptive during the meeting.”

“no worries,” Sans said. “frisk won’t cause trouble.”

Sans was pretty sure Toriel had broken them of their urge to flirt with strangers to get out of trouble, which Sans considered to be the most disruptive of their behavior. After that, Frisk was a pretty calm child except for when Mettaton visited and tried to shape them into a smaller version of himself. Sans remembered the boot incident well enough to know that Frisk mostly learned their lesson about TV drama in everyday life.

“Oh, I wasn’t saying anything about her in particular,” Linda hurried to assure him. “But just in general.”

Frisk laid down their pencil and signed to Sans to express that Toriel had said bad things about Linda when she thought Frisk wasn’t listening. Sans was sort of getting the idea why. He signed back that Toriel was a wise woman and that Frisk shouldn't repeat any bad words or he WOULD tell their mother. Frisk went back to their math homework.

“Oh!” she exclaimed, seeming surprised. “Is she deaf?”

“frisk isn’t a girl,” he said shortly. “and they just don’t like to talk much.”

Linda’s face scrunched up a bit but before she could open her mouth to further annoy Sans, Susan entered the room with a clipboard.

“It’s about time to start!” she enthused. Linda moved seats to be closer to the front while the other parents took their own seat. Social time seemed to be over. Sans got a bad feeling about the next thirty minutes.

(Beside him, Frisk began to tape several pieces of paper together. They began to draw Lesser Dog.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the way, if anyone wants to talk PTA Sans with me, my tumblr is emiibo.tumblr.com
> 
> And also I started a PTA Linda ask blog here -> askptalinda.tumblr.com
> 
> (Linda is totally a minion mom.)


	3. War on Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frisk inspires Sans to be a better skeleton.

Sans honestly thought he would die from boredom. He only had one HP. He would go quickly. Quicker than it took Linda to finally get done with her story about her son. Sans honestly couldn’t understand how Toriel could have been so cruel as to ask him to subject himself to this.

This farce would never end. He was sure of it. Part of him wanted to text Papyrus and give his brother his love but the bigger part was being lulled into an apathetic coma as he watched the blonde woman gesture wildly for some reason. Her story was about her son making it on the honor roll.

Sans felt a small tug on his sleeve. He tore his eye sockets away from the parents and looked to Frisk. Frisk passed him a… burnt pan? What in the world did the child keep in their inventory?

It would be rude to refuse a gift, though. Sans discreetly slipped the 15 inch skillet into his jacket. No one around them seemed to notice. Linda was still talking. Susan appeared to be making notes in her agenda but Sans could tell that she was drawing rather than writing. Frisk made for a good comparison. They finished their drawing of Lesser Dog.

One of the fathers was blatantly checking something on his phone, completely ignoring Linda. Another was staring at the opposite wall, looking utterly miserable to be present. A mother was sipping at a Starbucks cup and watching Linda but she had a glazed look in her eyes that announced her to be completely out of it. With the exception of one other mother, everyone was in a similar state.

When Linda, finally, _finally_ , stopped talking, the one woman that had been listening attentively nodded.

“I wholeheartedly agree with you,” she assure Linda.

“Thank you, Helen,” she said, somehow seeming to radiate smugness.

“That was a lovely story,” Susan said, flipping the page in her agenda. “It’s definitely something to think on. But I’m afraid we’re running a bit behind schedule. We need to talk about the winter play.”

“We should stick to something traditional,” Helen put in. “We could do the birth of Jesus.”

“Ooh, that sounds fun!”

“No, we should have something musical. My daughter is a very accomplished singer with her church choir.”

Sans discreetly pulled out his phone and opened a text from Papyrus.

**SANS. TORIEL HAS TOLD ME THAT YOU WILL BE BRINGING NEWS ON WHICH PLAY WE ARE GOING TO BE DOING. METTATON WANTS YOU TO KNOW THAT THERE IS NO RUSH BUT HE IS VERY EXCITED TO GET STARTED.**

Sans smiled and pocketed his phone. Pap knew he wasn’t great at texting and he wouldn’t expect a reply. Frisk pulled on his sleeve again and he looked over at them, raising an eyebrow ridge in question.

They discreetly pointed to one of the mothers sitting by herself in the far side of the room. She was gently rocking a baby and looking troubled. Sans looked back to Frisk.

They signed that the woman wasn’t Christian, which was apparently what the other parents were. Sans knew next to nothing about religion but he respected that everyone had the right to think whatever they wanted.

Sans glanced at the woman but it didn’t seem like she would speak up. The other parents seemed to be ignoring her very presence. He didn’t have to look to know that Frisk was staring at him imploringly.

He sighed. He didn’t want to get involved.

Frisk’s hand still clutched his sleeve. He was going to become involved.

“you know, us monsters aren’t religious,” Sans finally spoke up. Everyone looked over to him in surprise. They probably hadn’t expected a replacement to speak up. He sighed. “let’s try to keep it friendly for your new monster neighbors, okay?”

Some of the parents nodded thoughtfully but others seemed annoyed. Frisk patted his arm. Sans felt like he had done the right thing.

“I thought that you all celebrated Christmas,” Helen pointed out.

“we give gifts to the gyftrot,” sans said. No one seemed to know what that meant. Frisk’s hand slipped off his arm and they pulled out a pair of googly eyes. They carefully applied them to a piece of paper. Sans distractedly watched the kid begin to sketch around the eyes.

“What… what is that?” one of the fathers finally asked. Sans looked away from the mesmerizing eyes. He stared at the man for a minute before fully registering the question.

“a monster. some kids decorated it as a prank once and it, uh, got pretty upset. so we leave it presents under a tree to make up for it,” Sans explained. Everyone still looked a little confused. Sans gave up. “can’t we just do something not religious?”

Linda’s face scrunched up, almost as if she bit into something bitter. “It’s a tradition to do something befitting the Christmas season.”

“okay,” sans said slowly, getting annoyed. “but it isn’t christmas for everybody.”

Linda glared at him and Sans couldn’t find it in himself to just brush it off. The woman was obviously making the other mother uncomfortable and she was being completely unreasonable about including monsters.

“Perhaps,” she said haughtily. “Monsters can have their own play. It’s clear that humans and monsters would… clash if they were just thrown together all willy nilly.”

Sans wondered if this is what anger felt like.

Beside him, Frisk pulled out their phone. They spun around in the chair and took a selfie with the PTA meeting in the background. No one paid them any attention.


	4. Rescue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frisk is really good at filters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> But first...

“Are we agreed?” Susan asked, sounding incredibly stressed. Frisk surveyed the remains of what was once a peaceful PTA meeting. The casualties were laid bare.

Sans was sitting with his skull buried in his bony hands. He was the picture of an emotionally broken skeleton.

Linda was standing by the refreshment table, a hand over her eyes while the other hand clutched at a cup of coffee desperately. She poured it five minutes ago but hadn’t taken a sip. She didn’t seem aware of it anymore.

Helen laid her head down on the table thirty minutes ago and hadn’t contributed since. Frisk tried to go over and pat her head like Toriel did for them, but she just shook her head. Frisk returned to their seat after that.

Chanda, the mother with the infant that Frisk previously pointed out, had to step out with her wailing child. The sound of crying died down but she still hadn’t come back in. Maybe she left. Frisk hoped so. It would be nice for someone to have been spared.

Frank pried open one of the windows and had begun to smoke. He was on his third cigarette but no one explained to him that he couldn’t smoke in a school building yet. Frisk made sure to sit far away from him.

David was still sitting at the table but his arms were firmly crossed over his chest and he had a deep scowl on his face. Maybe his face would stick like that... but probably not.

Frisk pulled their chair back and climbed atop it. They took another selfie with the wreckage in the background. They flipped through until they found a perfect filter and then sent it to Papyrus, Undyne, Alphys, and Toriel. Frisk was betting Toriel would show up to save the day in less than 5 minutes. She couldn’t possibly be still meeting with parents, not two hours after school dismissed.

“Kid, get down before you fall down,” Sans said without lifting his head. He could probably see from between the bones. Cheater.

Frisk hopped down and put their phone in their pocket. They patted Sans on his shoulder until he looked at them. They stared at him until he got the hint.

“Heh, I’m okay, buddy,” he said, tiredly. He rubbed his eye sockets, looking exhausted.

“I need a confirmation that we agree,” Susan tried again. Everyone in the room groaned or sighed. “That’ll do it. We’re done for the day. Meeting adjourned.”

No one moved.

Then the door slowly opened and Toriel peeked in worriedly. She surveyed the room, frowning. When she got to Sans, she looked distressed. He tried to give her a lazy wave but it was more of a hand flap. She entered the room.

“Is everything all right in here?” she asked. She looked to Susan, who was shaking her head. “I would have thought you would be done by now.”

“We just finished,” Susan explained. She handed a folder to Toriel, who began to leaf through it. “We settled on the winter play after some… lively debate.”

“I see,” Toriel said. She still looked worried and confused. She looked over to Sans and Frisk. “Well, if that is all. Come along, my child.”

“Take that skeleton with you,” Linda said, still not turning around. She finally took a sip of the coffee in her hand.

“Oh,” Toriel sounded like she wasn’t sure if she should take offense or not.

“Save me, Tori,” Sans begged. He slid off the chair and Frisk helped him walk over to the former queen. “I can’t think of a pun.”

“That _is_ troubling,” she said, placing a furry hand on his should. She begun to steer him out to the relief of everyone else in the room. Frisk darted over to the refreshment table and carefully selected a donut. They had room in their inventory now.

Toriel called for them and they went after the two monsters. Sans was holding the folder now and looking slightly better. Toriel still had a hand on his shoulder.

“My child, I am going to return home,” she explained. “Would you like to come with me?”

Frisk looked at Sans.

“I need to get the script to Pap and Mettaton,” he explained. Frisk moved and grabbed onto his sleeve, making their opinion clear. They went where the action went. Sans patted their head with his free hand and then Toriel did the same.

“Well, please be safe,” Toriel implored, like always. Frisk supposed that it made her nervous to have her child roam around. There were so many places to get lost on the surface.

Toriel and Sans said goodbye and Toriel departed. Sans looked at Frisk for a long moment. His phone made a barking sound. Frisk recognized the sound of the Annoying Dog.

“You know, my phone has to wear glasses now,” he said conversationally as he dug the phone out of his pocket. He stared at the screen. “Yeah, it lost its contacts.”

Frisk’s phone vibrated. They pulled it out to check it and found a message from Papyrus asking if Sans was alright. Frisk turned so Sans, who was still looking at his phone, was right behind them. They snapped another picture and sent it without taking the time to choose a filter. It seemed urgent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...let Frisk take a selfie.


End file.
